Waiting

Warning: Long post with no pictures


I love to read other adoption blogs. I love reading posts about the excitement of the referral calls and trips to Ethiopia but also appreciate when people share the challenges of attachment, feelings of post adoption depression or just challenges with adoption in general. Those posts help to keep us grounded that adoption is not just all sunshine and rainbows but in reality is a difficult journey but hopefully one that is very rewarding and fulfilling as well. I appreciate it when other adoptive parents can share their joys and challenges and "keep it real".

So, while I will do my best to keep it real, I must warn that I am actually overall a fairly positive person. I can usually "talk" myself into seeing the positive side of things.

So, where the heck is she going with this you may ask. Referrals. For the last month there haven't been any referrals and we have been stuck at #7. As much as we eagerly await the call to introduce us to our daughter, at least through a description and pictures, I can talk myself into being patient for a few reasons. First off, a few of our close friends are going through some big difficult life events. Seeing their struggles as we try to support them reminds us that waiting a few more days, weeks or even months is not such a bad thing in light of what they are experiencing. Another reason is that I always feel a little guilty "wishing" for referrals. In an ideal world the children would not be in orphanages waiting to be adopted but rather they would be raised by their parents who were healthy and able to care for them. For our wish to come true it means another family has to experience heartache and that's certainly not something I wish for. And lastly, whether or not we are patient it will happen when it happens and there's nothing we can do to change that.

So, all the jibber jabber above describes my head. My heart often has thoughts of its own but my head can usually convince my heart to settle down and be patient. Then yesterday there were three infant girl referrals making us #4 on the list! And yes, my heart took off racing with anticipation.